May 9, 2007

Violence to some is violence to all

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:21 pm by nevavegan

Eeek, the day got away from me today, so this is a quickie.

I’ve been distressed lately because I can’t turn on the radio without hearing that Carrie Underwood song where she trashes the car of the cheating guy. Not that violence to cars is violence so much, but… It also reminds me of how my friend kept insisting I needed to see the notebook and I watched it only to see this couple that is supposedly so much in love, only when they argue the girl essentially throws herself at the guy punching him all over.

So not ok.

I think it’s worse when the strong, or the bigger, or the people with a position of power, trust, or authority perpetuate violence. The harm is usually greater. But all of us need to make a decision every single day not to be violent out of anger or hurt feelings. We need to consciously decide this: I will not hurt animals, I will not hurt children, I will not hurt other people.

What’s that? Nobody needs to consciously decide that because we all know it already?

But do we, when people are ga-ga over this song. Reverse the roles and have a boyfriend following a woman and finding her in a bar playing pool with another man, so he goes out and trashes her car to send a message. How sinister does it become then?

What is going on in our country when we hear news reports of teenagers beating and sometimes killing the homeless, one of the most vulnerable segments of our population? It’s not ok to hit someone because they’re homeless. It’s not ok to kick someone because he’s male. It’s not ok to throw rocks at a dog, because he’s a dog and he doesn’t matter.

We need to send the message that violence out of anger is wrong. It’s good to defend ourselves, it’s good to defend others. But we have to reserve that for situations where it’s the only alternative. There are lots of other alternatives to a cheating boyfriend/spouse. There’s leaving and getting on with your life. There’s confronting him and challenging him to heal the relationship (if there’s something left there to hang onto). There’s filing for divorce. There’s organizing an intervention if it’s related to substance abuse issues.

Sigh. I’m probably just overly ranty today. I tend to think that people who solve their problems through threats and violence typically will raise kids that are the same way. What kind of example are we setting? It just touches my personal issues. By all means, defend yourself and others, but nobody should think they own another person or have a right to retaliate for personal wrongs in this way.

Feel free to disagree, btw, the three minute gut-spill rant is bound to be full of holes.



  1. Deb said,

    I was at a comedy show this weekend, and one of the “jokes” was about pushing a homeless man in front of a bus to solve his problems. It was so far from funny, it made me sick to think that this “comedian” had written that material, thinking it was funny, probably getting laughs from at least some people.

    I also think that willful ignorance is a form of violence, but that would spin your excellent post onto a bit of a tangent!

  2. Neva Vegan said,

    Thanks Deb, good point. A lot of violence is supported by those who pretend it isn’t going on and enable in all kinds of ways. That’s a whole new entry I guess.

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